3:05 p.m. - 2005-02-21
Doris' hitchhiking days are over
Doris sliced off a piece of her thumb on Saturday night. It was a sharp 10" kitchen knife. Basil. I looked at the cutting board, there it was, 1/900,000 of Doris just sitting there: mostly nail, a lot of skin, a tiny chunk of Dorismeat.
She lost it. She started hyperventilating. We wrapped her hand in wads and wads of paper towels. Where the fuck are the band aids? I tried to stay calm so she would stay calm. The blood kept coming.
"Look, Dominic!" Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
I sped my car the 3 blocks to Sav-On and emptied a row of bandaids, gauze, tape, cots and antibiotic ointment into my arms. I stood in line to pay.
After an eon, the retard cashier finally begins scanning my items. Hurry up, you fucking twat! Can't you see I'm purchasing $50 of bandages? Doris is bleeding!
Wait, who the fuck is that guy standing beside you? Stop it! Let the cashier scan my shit, will you? Wait, why the fuck are you tickling her? Leave her alone! I said...STOP STICKING YOUR FINGERS IN HER FLESHY HIPS! I HAVE TO GET HOME!
I couldn't believe it. Right before my eyes, I was watching these beasts do a mating dance while I was trying to pay for my first aid.
At home, Doris was crying. I wrapped her up. She applied pressure to her pressure points and after about 15 minutes, the bleeding stopped. We doused her thumb with peroxide and she calmed down. We talked about going into the emergency room and she didn't want to. It wasn't stitchable. I put her in the bed.
The kitchen was a mess of the dinner that never came to be. A cream sauce with the red oil of sundried tomatoes looked like bloody milk. On the cutting board, in between slivers of dark green basil, was that considerable chunk of fingernail and flesh.
That night I dreamed about Frodo Baggins, Luke Skywalker and that lady from The Piano. They all lost extremities and they turned out ok, right?
We woke up early on Sunday. She told me she slept peacefully but she was still worried. I was worried too. We went to Glendale Memorial Hospital.
They didn't do much. They cleaned it off. They gave her a tetanus shot. The bill is in the mail. We went to have breakfast at Cindy's after they finished up.
