9:44 p.m. - 2021-03-07
"I'm upset at how you reacted when I told you something very personal about me, and how you reacted after. It is affecting how I am able to get close to people"
I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't call her after Thursday, and she didn't call me either. I only remember her telling me about the last guy she dated, and how she was confused about his behavior, because he wasn't calling her often, and she wanted to keep trying.
After she told me about the last guy she dated, I realized this is not how she was with me. I was the one who was "too available". Get over it, Dom, I thought to myself. Move on. She has lost interest. So I did, I tried. And then she texted.
I immediately called her back (bad idea?) and she didn't pick up. "My phone is charging and I don't want to talk about it anymore"
"I'm sorry for how I reacted, but I'm not sure what I reacted at. I'm confused," I texted her back.
"I told you that I used to ************ when I was a teenager"
Oh. I completely forgot about that. Did I react?
I teach teenagers! I know there are quite a few of them that cut themselves. I have brought up the subject of self-harm in my classes, with my students, and I always practice listening so much more than talking. Karla didn't tell me how I reacted. Did I talk or not listen enough?
All I remember at the end of Thursday's conversation was how tired I was, and how Sammy, Thyrale, and Annabelle were expecting me on a friend-Zoom.
"I give up. I tried." I texted her back, one last time.
Thumbs up on my text, she replied.